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Tautoko - Māori for support

Well here we are again, today is 29th February 2024 and I have left my blog to the last day of the month, cutting it fine I know....but I think it is ok, because it is Leap I believe I have been "let off the hook". The idea for this blog has been on my mind for a long time, but when it gets to the nitty gritty of what I want to talk about it gets all too tricky, however, that isn't really my nature to not talk about it.

So here goes! I want to start off with a Whakataukī, (a Māori proverb)

Mā te ngākau aroha koe e ārahi

Let a loving heart guide your decisions

When I reflect back on the last 58 years that I have walked on this planet, I am so incredibly proud of where I am today, I have a wonderful connection with our property, I love the wonderful sunsets and nature that surround us here at A Deer Cottage, I love the banter and providing a gorgeous bed and breakfast for all our guests that grace Kaukapakapa, in Auckland, New Zealand, and I really love all our 5/5 reviews! If you wish to find out more about our bed and breakfast, or to book your stay you can do so here.

I have a wonderful husband who I absolutely adore, and four amazing children that are going out and discovering their own journey. I also have great friends and family that I cherish. It hasn't been an easy road at times, and that is the difficult part of this blog that keeps me from discussing it, I think that is because my heart breaks a little with every memory, however, if I can help someone else, then I am all for it.

Now back to the above Whakataukī, I use this in my daily life, if I have a good heart, then good will come from it, if I can be kind and try to be non-judgemental then that is a good thing. A little about my journey, many years ago, my darling uncle took his life, three days after giving me away at my first Wedding. It wasn't until I was a mother, and my own children had their struggles, my coping mechanisms and resilience really kicked in, in fact, I kept my own struggles hidden far beneath the surface, so that my nearest and dearest would have my undivided love and support.

Last year in March, my bestie decided to end his journey on Earth. This really knocked me for a sixer, I miss him like crazy, I had to talk about this, my raw grief was overpowering me, but I couldn't talk about it, Kani felt the same, as did everyone else that loved him. I decided I had to get some counselling, and nearly a year later, I am still seeing Lisa. Losing my bestie, bought back years of grief that I had kept protected. Lisa has become a godsend, she always welcomes me with a cuppa, and friendship, and has helped me with resilience. She suggested I listen to the Ted Talk with Lucy Hone "The three secrets of resilient people" see link here.

I have always believed communication is the answer to everything, I suppose that is the Gemini in me, however on the surface you can appear to be one thing, but behind that surface you can be totally another thing, so this is where I would like to bring up what has helped me, and as I said above, if I can help someone else I am grateful.

Yes absolutely effective communication has been beneficial to having a great mindset, but sometimes you just do not want to talk, and this is where I love being surrounded by nature, getting out in the garden is great, not only for my physical fitness, but also for my creativity and well being. I have dabbled in reading books by the Dalai Lama, and am interested in the way the Buddhist lead their lives, and that has also led me into discovering spirituality, a sense of calmness and meditation, using affirmations to help with daily life. I am a bit of a creature of habit, and this has also helped me. Get up, each morning, have a bowl of my homemade cereal, a cuppa, stretch and contemplate what the day will bring, and then to end the day, I like to slow down, have gratitude for the day, and finish off with quiet meditation. Starting off meditation can be difficult, I had a racing mind, quite often overthinking things, and googling "free self guided meditations" was so helpful! I now find I do not need to use these self guided meditations to shut off and unwind.

I have discovered that if I look after myself physically, emotionally and mentally I am better equipped to give of myself, and life is great! This year we will have another little grandchild being born to start his journey, and I am so excited that a new life will join us, and love will be nurtured.

I am also challenged by this YouTube journey that I am on, it both scares me, and frustrates me, learning all this social media jargon by myself is extremely difficult, however, I do enjoy it as well, and with that, I'm not ready to chuck it in, however, it was especially frustrating last week, when my much loved MacBook could not cope with my weekly vlogs, and had to head off to the Computer Doc! thankfully it is back, and rearing to go!

If you would like to follow our YouTube channel you can do so here.

If my blog has triggered you, please feel free to reach out.

I would like to finish off with another Whakataukī:

Kia mau ki te tūmanako,

te whakapono me te aroha

Hold fast to hope,

faith and love

Until next time, take care and look after yourselves

With aroha

Angela & Te Kani 🫎❤️🫎

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